The Thinner You Are the Worse it Can Be

I remember being around age 5-6 and realizing that my best friend was much thinner than I was because I couldn’t fit into her leotard. Then at age 12-13 she started getting more attention from boys than I did. At about this time, my grandmother signed me up for a diet program where I was weighed weekly and ate prepackaged food. I also remember those food packages being not nearly enough. Discomfort and, dare I say, hatred of my body became a normal occurrence. My mind was filled with negative ideas about myself and how I literally did not fit in.

Fast forward to my first job as a Massage therapist at a spa. It was located in an upscale neighborhood and many of my clients were women who took incredible care of their bodies. I was surrounded by beautiful people. But behind that treatment room door, during the consultation before they undressed and got on the table, the truth came out. “Don’t massage my upper legs, I don’t want you to see my cellulite. Will my stomach be covered? I don’t like that part being seen.” This was almost every client. They came in with a laundry list of things they didn’t want me to see; and me being overweight, I was at least 3 times their size!

This is when I realized that these women had the same inner dialogue I did. It blew my mind! They were beautiful; perfect, just like my best friend! How can they possibly think the same way about themselves as I think about myself? Then I realized: not only did we share the same inner dialogue, but many times their thoughts were worse than mine.

What are we missing?

If we didn’t spend so much of our time, energy, and brainpower on criticizing and hiding ourselves what would we be able to accomplish? What kind of experiences would we have with all of that free time and energy? So my challenge to you (and myself) is to question your thoughts and actions. If you shy away from your significant others’ touch or compliments because of your beliefs about yourself, just see what happens if you allow yourself to receive them. Allow yourself to go into that dark place that is cellulite and shed a little love in there. Tell me how it goes, I would love to hear about it.

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